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MASSAGE / BODYWORK CODE
PREPARE BY READING THE 'RULES' BELOW
WHAT A GOOD MASSEUR DOES
PRIOR TO A SESSION
* Has it stated on his/her website that he/she is affiliated with a professional association with a complaints committee or has this code on his/her site.
* Starts with an explanation of what exactly the massage entails, explains the method and indicates the options, but leaves the final choice of treatment to the client
* Is fully clothed for each massage type
* Discusses the degree of dressing with the person being massaged.
* Discusses the boundaries in advance and ask what the client wants, where the client does and does not want to be touched.
* Always agrees a signal with which the client can indicate a boundary during the session without words
* Agrees in advance that he/she will serve as a massage therapist in the process. He/she determines what will happen, but coordinates it in consultation with the client. That sometimes also means that something can already be touched in the process prior to this, so that, for example, the actual massage cannot yet take place.
With every massage, it is necessary to stay out of expectation and to remain open to what presents itself. Not the massage is the goal but support of the body and soul
DURING THE SESSION
* During the massage (again) ask permission to touch the genitals
* React immediately during the massage if the client indicates a limit
* Give the client room to feel comfortable with feelings of fear, shame, lust, anger, frustration, etc. The therapist is the space-holder for this process.
* Always give absolute clarity and communicate about when and how to hold, comfort by touch and empathetic touches, if they are useful for the process.
AFTER THE SESSION
* leave it up to the client if he/she wants another appointment.
WHAT A GOOD MASSEUR NEVER DOES
PRIOR TO A SESSION
* Offer oneself as a masseur through unsolicited personal messages, emails or telephone calls
DURING A SESSION
* making sexual innuendo, talking sexually
* (tongue) kissing
* clitoral satisfaction in females or giving a happy ending, provoke ejaculation in male clients
* touching the therapist's genitals
* touch or caress from a need of the therapist / masseur
* tell about own needs
AFTER A SESSION
* Having sex with you
Insist on further contact or sessions
Further things to know
1. MAKE SURE YOU CAN SPECIFY YOUR BOUNDERIES
To be able to receive a massage, you must indicate your limits. However, many people are damaged at this point. If someone goes beyond their limits, they 'disappear' from their bodies and no longer respond adequately to what happens. If you are not really good at setting your limits in daily life, first restore your natural ability to set your limits in a place with your clothes on. I can help you practice and restore this during coaching or shamanic healing sessions.
2. BE CAREFUL WITH WHOM YOU ARE GOING TO
Many people who give individual massage are in no way affiliated with a professional association. They are therefore not accountable for their behavior. Even though you pay them for the massage, they are not seen as a professional. There are excellent and respectful masseurs in the Netherlands and there are also several men and women active as masseurs who regularly cross the boundaries of women and men. They are not called to order by a professional association or through criminal law.
So find out very well with whom you work. Consult several people before you make an individual appointment with someone. Ask them about their experiences very specifically. There are also women who visit a masseur BECAUSE they like that the masseur also has sex with them. Formally, someone who has sex with you must have a prostitution permit and be regularly examined for venereal diseases.
3. START WITH A WOMAN
If as a woman you want to discover, restore and open your own sensuality and sexuality, start with massage sessions given by a woman. That increases the chance that you really focus on your own body and discover what is yours. You are less likely to get caught up in your own desires towards men, nor in what you think a man expects or desires from you.
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