1. MAKE SURE YOU CAN SPECIFY YOUR BOUNDERIES
To be able to receive a massage, you must indicate your limits. However, many people are damaged at this point. If someone goes beyond their limits, they 'disappear' from their bodies and no longer respond adequately to what happens. If you are not really good at setting your limits in daily life, first restore your natural ability to set your limits in a place with your clothes on. I can help you practice and restore this during coaching or shamanic healing sessions.
2. BE CAREFUL WITH WHOM YOU ARE GOING TO
Many people who give individual massage are in no way affiliated with a professional association. They are therefore not accountable for their behavior. Even though you pay them for the massage, they are not seen as a professional. There are excellent and respectful masseurs in the Netherlands and there are also several men and women active as masseurs who regularly cross the boundaries of women and men. They are not called to order by a professional association or through criminal law.
So find out very well with whom you work. Consult several people before you make an individual appointment with someone. Ask them about their experiences very specifically. There are also women who visit a masseur BECAUSE they like that the masseur also has sex with them. Formally, someone who has sex with you must have a prostitution permit and be regularly examined for venereal diseases.
3. START WITH A WOMAN
If you, as a woman, want to discover, restore and open your own sensuality and sexuality, start with massage sessions given by a woman. That increases the chance that you really focus on your own body and discover what is your own. You are less likely to become entangled in your own desires in relation to men and also not in what you think a man expects or requires from you.
4. PREPARE BY READING THE FOLLOWING 'RULES'
***** WHAT A GOOD MASSOR DOES ****
BEFORE A SESSION
* Does his / her website state that he / she is affiliated with a professional association with a complaints committee or does this code appear on his / her site.
* Starts with an explanation of what the massage is exactly, explains the procedure and indicates the options, but leaves the final choice of treatment to the client
* Is always fully dressed
* Discusses the degree of being dressed with the person being massaged.
* Discusses the limits in advance and asks what the client wants, where the client wants to be touched or not
* Always agree a signal how during the session w the client can indicate a limit without words.
* Agreed in advance that he / she serves as a massage therapist in the process. He/she decides what will happen but coordinates in consultation with the client. This sometimes also means that something can be hit in the process beforehand, which means that the actual massage, for example, cannot yet take place.
With every massage it is necessary to stay out of expectation and to remain open to what presents itself. The goal is not the massage but the support of the body and soul
DURING THE SESSION
* During the massage (again) ask permission to touch
* Respond immediately during the massage if the client indicates a limit
* Give the client room to feel at ease with feelings of fear, shame, feelings of lust, anger, frustration etc. The therapist is the space-holder for this process.
* Always give complete clarity and communicate about when and how to hold on, comfort by touch and empathic touches, if they make sense to the process.
AFTER THE END OF THE SESSION
* leave to the client whether he / she wants another appointment.
**** WHAT A GOOD MASSOR NEVER DOES ****
BEFORE A SESSION
* Presenting yourself as a masseur through unsolicited personal messages, mails or telephone calls
DURING A SESSION
* make sexual allusions, talk sexually
* (tongue) kissing
* Clitoral satisfaction in women or provoking ejaculation in male clients
* touch of the therapist's private parts
* touching or stroking from a need of the therapist / masseur
* tell about your own needs
AFTER A SESSION
* Have sex with you
* Insist on further contact or sessions